Part V: Getting Home

First off let me just say that 8 hours on a jet-ski is not good for the back...man am I sore.....Anyway I finally arrived home and putting everything aside I allowed myself to smile. I hitched a ride to my house and as the driver dropped me off I looked at home with a sense of sorrow and accomplishment.

My thoughts still weighed heavy on me as I recalled Bunny and Thang, but I put my best foot forward and preceded into my house, but then I noticed all of the movement in my yard...it was a bunch of little creatures....with little hats......

It was a GNOME ARMY, they were being led by this Italian Troll named Myrna who had just gotten out of jail over a porn incident. The Gnomes had my family hostage and were beginning to set the stage for more porn tapes, but then I rode into town.

They quickly locked all of the doors and started to attck me, the first wave was easy enough they are only like four inches tall, I just picked them up and hurled them back at each other.

But these gnomes were smart, they went for my knees. As I fell to the ground something caught my eye...it was the garden hose, and my sister had left it on again. I quickly threw off some more gnomes and grabbed the hose, I now had like a nuclear weapon, to this little things, I began to spray them with water and they all started choking and dying. I was confused as to why they were dying but then I noticed that this hose had the weed-be-gone thingy attached to it, and I was poising the gnomes, since they live off weeds their bodies were very susceptible to the wed poisoning.

After I killed the entire army, I notice Myrna, she had grown to human size and was charging me, her ugly naked troll body froze me up like a ben and jerry's ice cream pint. But then a miracle happend, cookie my families bunny attacked Mryna, as the two fought I finally gathered my courage and pulled the nearest weapon, a carrot from the ground, using my carrot of Justice I stabbed Mryna in the eye, which made her let go of cookie and take off into the woods, so now Myrna is an one eyed troll.

After that I bought myself a propel and a take five and sat down to watch some cartoons, I had finally made it home..........zzzz..zzzz...this is me falling asleep......